1. Take a 4.30am start and head to Berlin's Schoenefeld airport for a 7.15am flight to London Gatwick.
2. Add a delightful five hour delay and several cranky Germans who have issues with your hand luggage and lack of a clear plastic bag.
3. Cancel the flight two hours into said delay.
4. Spend nine hours in airport terminal after re-collecting checked in baggage while waiting for the 4.10pm flight to London Luton. Say a small prayer of thanks for wifi.
5. Add a 50 minute delay to said later flight and then for added awesomeness stand around in several queues waiting to check-in, clear security, buy food and then board fully packed flight.
7. Enjoy descent into Luton while massaging cold-laden head. Alternatively drive nails into your skull.
8. Run for the bus to London Victoria while carrying all luggage, crossing all fingers that you'll make it the Apollo Theatre in time and abandoning all thought of going home for a shower first.
9. Slide into seat as the curtains go up and leave behind all thoughts of horrendous day while enjoying fabulous campness of musical Wicked with lovely family friend.
10. Be thankful for the dark theatre where no-one can draw comparisons between your appearance and that of the wicked witch.
11. Go home and pass out.
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