Dissertation Karaoke

I woke this morning with soggy eyes and an elevated sense of already elevated stress about my dissertation. And all because I had a dream. A dream where, instead of writing 15,000 words on some aspect of contemporary art practice, addressing all relevant cultural and political theories, I had to write an album. Not only that, I had to then present each of the 12 self-penned songs on my album, explaining the structure, content and intent of each verse, sing one of them and then design an appropriate cover which had to feature an image of yours truly. And please justify that too. I have felt sick and anxious and nervy and consequently exhausted all day. Ahh Panic. Hello my friend.


I am on T-minus one week before I have to submit my introduction and first chapter to my tutor for her comments/shredding and have yet to write a word. I am immobilised with fear. Paralysed with terror. Intellectually wrestling in the academic equivalent of wet cement. All things point to feeling a little bit hysterical at the moment but I'm trying not to dwell. Ahh Procrastination. Hello my friend.


I think starting the week tired and still a tad hungover hasn't helped matters. It was a big weekend. LB's LS (Lovely Sister) and her husband had their farewell drinks on Saturday night in anticipation of their move back to Sydney and it was a great night, if not a little messy. It was in this fabulous little pub somewhere in Chelsea (not a part of the world I regularly patronise) but it was spectacular to finish the night waiting for a cab looking out towards the Chelsea Bridge, lit up as it was like a Christmas parade. If the night revealed anything however, it is that I am definately not match fit when it comes to the mass imbibing of wine and so Sunday involved a greasy breakfast, a packet of nurofen and an afternoon nap. And still I felt shady.

Despite my best efforts to the contrary, I am starting to feel a rising tide of panic generally about all things London life at the moment, dissertation being the biggest culprit obviously, but in cahoots with lack of income and impending visa application nightmare. Consequently I am left with an increasingly perilous grip on sanity. A grip not helped by a horrendously busy last week and a massive late-in-the-game case of The Sads.


I blame tiredness, I blame hormones, I blame lots of things but at the end of last week, and after such an amazing few days with my foodie friends from home - and some solid girl time spent hair braiding (yes, literally) and gossiping and playing with hair products and talking about life and boys and long-term plans and politics and shoes - well it brought home for me how much I miss having my girlfriends around. Like, SO much. A cancelled visit from another girlfriend of the inner circle thanks to snot and fever left me wallowing in tears and loneliness, despite the utter loveliness of my LB and despite the fact I know my girls are out there and they love me despite being 12,000 miles away. It's just not the saaaaaaaaaaaaaaame.

LB, as ever my knight, was both sympathetic and practical, and in an act of pleasant diversion we went to Primrose Hill. Neither of us had ever been there before and it was just gorgeous - blue skies, people flying kites, couples having picnics - everything you imagine it to be and it doesn't let you down. All that was missing was some local celebrity sightings.

Wandering down the hill and through Regents Park, on our way to Chiswick to watch the football before heading to Shepherd's Bush to see a play we got chatting about all the other things we wanted to do in London that neither of us had yet done, a visit to Primrose Hill now ticked. Ever the student I suggested we write a list.


So, after the play, which was fabulous and touching and very funny and only an hour and 10 minutes (the best kind of theatre), we headed in to central London in search of cocktails. And a napkin. And in a cavernous little den in this little bar in Covent Garden we set to making a list. It started reasonably sensibly enough but after two cocktails the list suddenly got a bit ambitious (like all good things after a couple of drinks) and suddenly included adventures such as "Cuba". Lucky there isn't a time frame for any of these... My only concern is that we didn't add "Win Lottery" as well.

But speaking of lists, and bullet points and achievable goals, I need to get back to my album.